| This is a triple Red Level Homeland Insecurity Alert! |
| Attention!!! Attention!!! Attention!!! Attention!!! Two dangerous teenage sex criminals, X Moon and Star, the notorious Double Trouble Twins, have escaped from a secret CIA prison and are on the loose somewhere in the Midwest. Below are a few of their prison mug shots. Be advised these two young ladies are considered sexy and dangerous and it's rumored that Star seldom wears panties in an effort to corrupt mankind with her brazen, wanton and unadulterated promiscuity that she fashions with her... loins. |
| In the Name of the Republik, all Citizens should be on the look out for these two crazed teenage lunatics. Their brashness and irresponsibility knows no bounds and all care should be taken when approaching them lest you wind up a victim of one of their ravenous, contorted and chaotic schemes which they delight in unleashing upon unsuspecting church-goers or other innocent passerby. |
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| It is believed that the Twins are being aided and abetted by a strange, shadowy creature known only as Skelekitty. This vile monster has been rumored to feed off live mammals smaller than himself and his terrorist activities are known to have corrupted at least 50 virtuous maidens across 13 states. He can be seen lurking in the background of this undated photo of the Double Trouble Twins. The Trio are believed to be in the vicinity of Memphis, TN heading north along the Mississippi River towards St. Louis. Citizens should use extreme caution if you think you've seen them and report the location immediately to the nearest Office of Homeland Insecurity so that all the proper paperwork can be filed. |
| Here the two can be seen sharing secrets about the goings on at the secret CIA sex prison. Now that the jig is up, I'm sure that exclusive photos will soon be published in the New York Times. At the very least you shall soon see some at The Virtuous Pornographer for he seeks only the truth so that it will make US free. |
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